Sunday, April 05, 2009

What was that?

Something went buzzing through me this evening as I was cooking chicken fajitas on the grill. I've done lots of things, some good, some not so good in my 49 years, 6 months of breathing the air that God has freely provided our little rock that whirls around the sun every 365 (give or take) days. Some have been pretty stupid and some were almost brilliant. Now I sit here pondering, wondering. I feel sort of like the Grinch talking to his dog Max moments before he figured it out.

Susan was asking me what I might want to do for my 50th birthday. Six months away. In all honesty, I have never even thought about it. Really. Until now. The question, asked in total innocense and utmost sincerity, buzzed through my head, doubled back and drilled right down into my gut. What was that? was that my pride quickly being wiped away like a dry erase board? Wow-50. I believe that in most likelihood that number puts the majority of us on the down hill side. If my life were a work week, I'd probably be about Wednesday afternoon, maybe getting close to quitting time.

I guess the thing that struck me was I quickly realized that I still feel like a teenager at times. I'm having too much fun to be 50. Maybe I should act more my age? Susan hates it when I say that. Or maybe I should just start buring the candles at both ends. Damn 50, full speed ahead! I guess I have six month to decide how to approach it. I am in dire need of some wisdom out there so if you have anything to contribute, let me know.

On the running front-
Glad to see Amy ripped off a new PR . . Congrats girlfriend!

I had a couple of good runs on Monday and Tuesday then went out of town. Headed to Milledgeville, Ga (not too far from Amy) to look at an upcoming job at one of our fossil plants. It rained almost entire time I was there on Wednesday and Thursday, walking around in the coal yard and ash trench. Yuck! I got home Thursday evening but didn't feel like running. I had to come home from the plant in soaking wet clothes (already checked out of hotel), soaking wet socks and steel toe boots, listening to one of my riding companions babble on about some trivial BS about the batting order of the LA Dodgers. Not in mood to run, needless to say. Friday was a wierd day. I know that I needed to run but sort of had a don't give a rip attitude. Strange how it comes and goes. Saturday, I did something that I HATE to do. There is something inherently wrong with driving your car somewhere so you can go for a run. However, Susan and I went to one of our local trails, Jemison Trail, where it is nice and shady and the path runs parallel to a nice size creek. There were lots of folks out and once we got going I was happy that I did so. Today (Sunday) we seemed to waste the day away. We got home from church, ate a quick lunch, went grocery shopping, came home and paid bills, cleaned house, did laundry, and did a quick easy two miler in the misty rain. That's it for the week.

50 . . . . man that sucks.


Anonymous said...

Age, like everything else, is all in your mind, so make your thoughts to be "what you want" and not what you don't want! That is a miracle in life, having a mind filled with all good things and this is how you create your life.

Anonymous said...

Okay, Aunt Susan here, I have already been there, so let me tell you about my experience. That day came & I was depressed, feeling sorry for myself, all the thoughts you had I had & more. All that wasted energy, unnessesary stress was just a waste of time. I should have been enjoying the day, just glad to still be here. And you know the next day it was all over & there were no changes. I just went back to where I was before I turned 50. So its really no big thing. Act like you feel, not what a number tells you. You are as young as you feel. And yes, its all in your mind, for real.

Anonymous said...

You should run a marathon on your 50th birthday. I did it and and I know of at least 3 others who have done the same. The tough part will be finding a marathon on a Thursday.